Spirit Messages of Love (SML)
Chapter 1: First Contact
“Our bonds of love are never broken… they cannot be broken… Our bonds always continue… always.”
“That is my grandson! I want you to tell him that I am here. I am so proud of him!” Seconds passed. The old woman continued to talk with a heavy French accent as she pointed to the middle-aged man who was massaging me. This must be my imagination. Minutes passed but the old woman remained. I could feel her presence, see her in my mind’s eye, and I could literally hear her voice. It was as if my own grandmother were standing next to me. The old woman was like a television that could not be tuned out or turned off. She demanded: “Tell him! Tell him that I am here. I am his grandmother. I helped raise him. See my crooked fingers? They are all bent from arthritis. See?”
I heard her words and I saw images of information flash in my mind. After she knew that I could hear her and see everything she showed me, she triumphantly ordered: “Now you tell him!”
I still did not believe what was happening. Could this really be my first experience talking to a dead person, or Spirit, or someone from the other side? No. Although I believed that some people truly have this ability, I did not believe that it could happen to me.
I am a psychotherapist with a Jungian slant. From a clinical explanation, I reasoned this old woman was my own inner figure. Perhaps, she was a split off piece of me. Maybe the old woman represented the archetype of the demanding old crone. Yes! This was a reasonable explanation. Clearly, she has been repressed her for a very long time. Because she can’t be real, that is, outside of my own inner world, I rationalized that I can have a little fun with her. It’s all in my head anyway.
According to Swiss Psychiatrist, C.G. Jung, part of the journey towards emotional wholeness, includes incorporating split off pieces of ourselves – those parts that we don’t like, or hold shame around, and therefore repress. C. G. Jung emphasized the importance of bringing forth to consciousness all of our split off parts. C.G. Jung felt this would lead to emotional wholeness. The clinical word is called, ‘Integration’.
Clearly, I needed to process this with my therapist Barry Williams. In the meantime, I decided to have fun and joke with the old woman. I irreverently said, “Hey this is my massage, don’t butt in on my time! Who is paying for this anyway? The answer is ME! Unless you can manifest money… hahahahaha… So stop talking! You’re interrupting my massage time.” She did not budge. She showed me more images. I saw her silver hair, pulled in a bun, off of her face. She was a small, petite woman, but a little full figured. Her face had deep lines. She showed me herself standing in front of a humble home. I could actually feel her energy, her personality. She was not in any way mean, hostile, nor threatening. Just spirited.
Because she was so determined that I deliver a message to her grandson, she continued to show me more information about her life. What if this was an actual spirit? What if she was not a split off part of me? What if I was her one chance to deliver a message to her grandson and I am being flippant and dismissive of a gift from God? The only way to verify the validity of the old woman’s presence was to ask Thomas. I remembered something a classmate said earlier that day. “If spirit gives you a message, you are obliged to deliver it…” I took a deep breath for courage. I opened my eyes and sheepishly said, “Uh, Thomas… um, could you stop for a minute?” He looked at me with two question marks for eyes. I propped myself up on my elbows and hesitantly asked, “Do you have a grandmother who has crossed over? Uh, you know, died?” He said “Yes”. His guarded expression suggested that he had no idea where I was going with this. I added, “Did you live with her sometimes, did she help raise you?” Thomas responded, “Uh… yeah….” I blurted, “Well she is here, and she won’t leave me alone until I deliver her message. She wants you to know that she is so proud of you…” Then, I quickly added, “I’m sorry, I hope this makes sense… I’m taking the ‘Spirit Communications’ class with James Van Praagh, and it’s only my second day… I don’t really know what I’m doing. But your grandmother is definitely here! And she won’t leave until I tell you this. She’s so stubborn!”
Thomas’ grandmother showed me more evidence. She indicated that she was sorry that she had been so firm with Thomas; she showed me a primitive style wooden paddle. She held it in her hand. She indicated, “I had to make sure that he turned out to be a good boy.” She felt apologetic because she realized she had been too hard on him. Again, she showed me her arthritic fingers, she said:
“All bent, very bent, all crooked, see?” She showed me she sometimes smoked. I asked her how she died and she showed me her chest and heart area. I struggled to understand what she showed me, because I could not discern whether or not she died from pneumonia or heart attack. Then, I heard “Congestive heart failure.” I knew that was correct. Once I understood a piece of information, she moved on to another. Over and over again she repeated her name. I heard, “eeeeee” sound. She said “et” over and over. She told me, “I have many grandchildren, but he’s my favorite! He was always my favorite grandson. I am so proud of him! I am surprised that he chose this career, but I am so proud of him. He knows he was my favorite. You tell him now.” Her love for her grandson was very strong. Thomas said, “Wow! She used to call me, ‘Mon petit préféré’ which in French means, ‘My little favorite.’”
Thomas confirmed each detail. And her name? Jacqui Bonnet. Thomas and I both were amazed! I lay back down so he could finish my massage. His grandmother was still present but not in the forefront anymore. It was as if she stepped aside. I tried to relax again. But, while I felt such gratitude to God and The Universe that I had been a vessel for spirit, I had no idea a totally different Spirit was present and waiting to speak. Within several minutes a male energy appeared.
For some reason, Spirit always appears on my right side. Although my eyes were closed I am still able to sense someone’s presence. It’s as if someone you know walks into a room where you’re resting. Although your eyes may be closed you can still tell if it’s your partner, child, or friend. In my mind I asked, “Who is this? Who is here?” In my head I teased Thomas’ grandmother, and said, “What did you ring a dinner bell? Am I going to see your whole family?” A male energy was present. His energy felt softer than the grandmother’s. The man also wanted me to deliver a message to Thomas. This male spirit was between aged 35-40 when he transitioned. He was extremely handsome. His blonde hair was carefully combed and perfectly framed his square jawline. His skin was very tan, and he knew women found him sensuous. This male Spirit showed me that while he was here, on earth, he had been a man of influence. He wore beautiful clothes, and in this scene he wore a custom-made suit. He looked dashing. The male Spirit spoke telepathically to me and gently said: “I love him [indicated Thomas] like a brother… our love was like a brother… very strong… I loved him very much…” He showed me a gesture with both hands using first two fingers and tapping them together. I understood this was some cultural non-verbal gesture to indicate connectedness to someone. I asked this spirit if he was literally Thomas’ brother. I didn’t understand. This Spirit repeated: “We were so close – like brothers…our love was so strong… very strong…Please tell him I love him.” I asked him how he died. Then he showed me. He was shot in the chest. He showed me that he had been walking at night on a busy street in Paris. To be certain of what he showed me, I asked him for clarification, “So you were not shot in your back, or the head, right? You’re specifically showing me you were shot straight in your chest?” Again, he flashed his scene of death in my mind’s eye. He said, “Yes. It was so sudden, I didn’t know what was happening, someone walked up to me and jammed a gun into my chest like this…” He showed me how surprised he had been. He showed me that he had transitioned quickly He tried to tell me his name, but I just understood it was “ppppp” sound, I did not know if this was literal or phonetic. He just said over and over, “My name is PPPPP…..pppp.” He communicated how much he loved Thomas, I heard, “Like a brother, but not a brother, but I loved him like a brother… please tell him that I am around him, and love him so much. Our bond can never be broken.”
I knew I had to deliver this message. “Uh… Thomas, ummm, you’re not gonna believe this, and I’m sorry, but it seems like someone else is here…” Thomas stopped and looked up. I reiterated, “Maybe this is completely my imagination… I know this is going to sound weird, but now a man is here.” Poor Thomas did not know how to react. I shared all the man showed me. Thomas stared at me in disbelief. This time Thomas was speechless. I gently asked, “Does any of this make sense to you? Do you know a man between 35-40, I think 38… you had a strong loving connection, and he was shot in the chest? And he is telling me his name is something with a ‘P’ sound?” Thomas nodded. He said that was his step-father. His name was Pierre. Thomas added that they were extremely close. We finished the massage. But I could not focus on what I was physically feeling. I felt dizzy and lightheaded and emotionally over-whelmed.
As I walked back to my hotel room my head literally felt like it was buzzing. I could hardly sleep that night. Lastly I heard: “Our bonds of love are never broken…they cannot be broken… Our bonds always continue… always.
The following morning, I arrived early for the third day of class for “Spirit Communications” with James Van Praagh. James walked in and I ran up to him with the enthusiasm of a child who just learned to ride a bicycle. “James, James, I’m so excited! I had my first experience!!!” I shared what happened 12 hours earlier. James nodded, crossed his arms over his beefy chest, and flatly said, “Uh, yes, that’s really great. And I know that you’re excited. But what happened? I closed you guys down during the ending meditation? Suzanne, you cannot be out there in the world as one big antenna.” I cringed at his light reprimand. And, he is right. It can be crazy making to talk to the living and the dead at the same time.
This first experience occurred 3 years ago. How could I have known that 3 years later I would be straddling between two worlds – the world of the physical and the world of Spirit. In the physical world, I battle a terminal cancer diagnosis while Spirit continues to show me that there is no such thing as death.
Although Spirit provides me with specific evidence for their loved one, the end message is nearly always: “I love you. I am around you. I am aware of events in your life. Our love is an energy that cannot die… Our bond cannot ever be broken.”