What Qualities Does a Good Therapist Possess?

By: Suzanne Maiden, M.A., LPC

I was invited to speak to a group this past week.  I spoke about SIB, Self-Injurious Behavior, aka, ‘cutting’.  I gave the attendees my four-page handout citing facts and stats regarding definitions, gender and racial differences, typical age groups, and various scientific theories.  I enjoy presenting and sharing my knowledge.

Then, a middle-aged man with a wave of steel-colored hair looked up over his metal-frame glasses and asked:  “You said you have fairly good success with helping cutters.  What do you attribute that to?”  I readily responded:  “Therapeutic brilliance never cures the client.  But love does.” 

Out of all the data I presented to this educated group, and all of my care in looking professional, speaking well, and emulating speakers that I’ve admired – this statement alone seemed to win their confidence in me.  I saw people nod.  This moment of my pure authenticity resonated as their truth.  What qualities does a good therapist possess?  Yes, the obvious is needed.  A good therapist needs to have a solid theoretical framework, based on data and research, from which they operate.  Most therapists that I know, are eclectic and integrate a variety of techniques such as experiential with humanistic, and dose of cognitive-behavioral therapy to assist their clients.  This is good.  This works.  But, in my experience, when the client experiences genuine lovingness from the therapist – this hastens the healing process.  Carl Rogers referred to this as ‘unconditional positive regard.’  

When we feel safe, contained, valued, deeply understood and loved by the therapist – we are able to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and emotionally exposed, knowing that whatever we bring into the therapeutic setting is OK.  This is what helps us heal.  Love.